My story

For more than 14 years I used to work as a hairdresser. The more I traveled the more I figured out that I just didn't fit into the whole society's "norms" thing or the environment I grew up in. Does this make me a spoiled person? I couldn't help but envy those lucky souls who had the freedom to stay in tropical places for months. I mean, who wouldn't, right? But for me it was stronger than that. so, at the age of 26, I gathered the guts to leave my home town behind and say goodbye to my job to chase my dreams and see where life would take me…

Locked up, fucked up.

Well, on the 24th of march 2020, life brought me back to living with my mom, to strict orders that prevented us from leaving the house. Yes, after 2 months of traveling around Australia and Indonesia, this damn pandemic became global and I had no choice but to make my way back to Belgium. It hit me hard—I was lost. I went from a life of extreme freedom to a covid prison, experiencing a quarantine like humanity has perhaps never known before. When I got home, I painted my room and was shutting myself off from the world for almost three weeks. I had zero clue about what I should do with my life...

"People are designed to grow," but during that time, I wasn't growing. I felt more stuck in life than ever before. everyone needs something to look forward to, a way to avoid feeling stuck. But at that moment, it seemed impossible because we were physically trapped, unable to go anywhere. Airports were closed which fuelled my anxiety like crazy. They took away my escape, it was like being transported back to my past, that familiar feeling of being stuck somewhere, where I felt powerless, as if I had no control over my own life.

I desired joy and I was fully aware I was all worthy of it.

The pandemic years were a rollercoaster, with so much happening. Being stuck in a toxic environment, trying my best to make changes, but it ended up changing me. I lost connection with myself and had no idea who I was anymore. I decided to take a break, and it's not about being lazy; it's about taking care of yourself. Taking a break is simply a part of the process.

I needed start doing things that naturally bring more joy and balance into my life: spending time with close friends, detaching from certain people, engaging in sports, going to therapy, finding creative outlets, discovering a place where I could breathe and reconnect with myself.

After spending an amount of time focusing on myself, I can connect solo-traveling to the process of healing from trauma. It's tough and kinda scary, but it also brings a sense of freedom like no other. It's like a journey that pushes you into uncomfortable situations to help you grow. You learn how to love yourself, enjoy your own company, and pick solitude over distractions. That's like the ultimate level of independency, and let me tell you, it's empowering.

Not trying to fit in but knowing where you belong.

I was always the person that fitted in everywhere & nowhere until surfing came in to my life. It linked me with people who felt like outsiders, both in the eyes of society and their own families. Like minded-souls that share the same perspective, that life has a greater meaning than just: ‘going to school, secure a job, vacation for 2 weeks & die’.

There are two kinds of people: dreamers who go after their dreams and others who call it “unrealistic”.

Back in the day, people used to warn me for constantly seeking escapes, claiming that this "holiday life" wasn't real. well, they were right—it wasn't. But if I hadn't always wanted to escape, I wouldn't have experienced all the incredible things I have, met amazing like-minded people, or discovered a place I could truly call home.

Exotic countries always brought me a sense of comfort because there is more room for mistakes. "Tranquilla amiga," as they say. In Belgium, everything feels so stringent and controlled. Don't get me wrong, Belgium is amazing and has a fantastic system that we should appreciate, but it just doesn't align with what I want for my life.

I allowed myself to fulfil my desires and started my healing journey by completing what I had left unfinished.

After nearly three years of feeling lonely, lost and surviving in this pandemic, I made the decision to rediscover my true self and reconnect with the things that brought joy into my life. I completed what I had left unfinished in 2020. So, I reached out to a friend who has always been a source of inspiration for me. Curious about her upcoming travel plans, I asked her where she was at the moment. She replied with enthusiasm, saying, "come to brazil girl, I’m here!" Simple as that, with a mix of anxiety and thrill, I booked a ‘one-way ticket to brazil’. Even tho the future was very unclear, I felt that long-lost spark of excitement within me.

No change comes without difficulties, how perfect the situation might seem.

One year later, here we are in brazil, living the free and independent surf life I've always wanted. The journey hasn't been without bumps; I had to remind myself that this bumpy road is normal when moving to a new country. I've experienced moments of anxiety and overwhelmingness as I tried to figure out all the arrangements without understanding the language. Even though the sun always shines in brazil, it wasn't always sunny. I'm still a work in progress, but no change comes without difficulties. It doesn't matter how perfect the situation may seem, every transition is scary and challenging. And in those exact moments, you need to push through and tell yourself, "Pull yourself together, you've got this!"

To answer my question ‘if it makes me a spoiled person?’ -No, on the contrary "I'm seeking a less spoiled lifestyle, where I can thrive in an environment that truly understands. I want a life that's full of excitement, love, happiness, and things that push me out of my comfort zone.

-sp-